“The thing that was most helpful in my healing journey was ...” This was the question I asked a group of women this week. You see, they are the courageous survivors of modern slavery. Their answers are profound ...
'Being able to “talk” about it all, once I escaped. My family heard it all over and over ... it had all been suppressed for 10 years ... threats that if I told anyone, I would be dead ... I would never see my kids again ... you will cop it ... etc etc!'
'I did a course on healing from co-dependency which was suggested by my counsellor. Did some deep soul diving to dig out the painful past. I had a good friend who had been through similar and she nursed me through the very black days. My faith didn’t help at that time because I felt like God had abandoned me too and after all my abuser, works for ‘the church’ I was very angry at God for being so cruel and I didn’t trust Jesus because He was supposed to ‘have my back’. What sort of friend let’s this stuff happen to you. Narcissistic abusers are very good at looking like innocent lambs. The covert, altruistic ones are the best at it. I couldn’t talk to family much because of [the above] points. To them he was the best thing since sliced bread... probably still is.'
'Going to anonymous meetings was incredibly helpful in my healing journey too. As well as finally learning and understanding how to see narcissists and sociopaths and see their techniques and therefore avoid.'
'Forgiveness. Yes very powerful. I forgave more for my own healing, but just because you forgive it doesn't mean you have to take them back or accept their toxic behaviour.'
'Exactly ... [forgive] but never ever go back!!!'
'EMDR therapy helped me heal from the PSTD'.
'Spending two months at The Bridge To Recovery in the US to heal trauma and codependency, my adult self could start to shine as I healed triggers and found I could say “no”. A simple word I couldn’t say to other people out loud. I didn’t even know I couldn’t say the word “no” especially to angry people. And I was 37!'
'The thing that was most helpful in my healing was my Faith but also finding a counsellor that specialised in abuse. I also did a living beyond abuse course and boundary course. I was also able to change states so it was similar to my own witness protection program. I was also very blessed in that I had so much love and support from my new church. You have to be careful who you trust but I was so blessed I had strangers help me when I had nothing.'
The messy purple art [above] represents the chaos of domestic violence to me. And the bird on the wire under the moon represents the peace of freedom after leaving, yet social isolation - the devastating impact of the psychological abuse.
With the gruesome murder/suicide of Hannah Clarke and her three children this week by her alleged high profile NRL player husband ... it's time to reflect on the Australian epidemic of domestic and family violence. Living at risk of homicide must end! The article below, on #domesticviolence, is a well researched snapshot of the epidemic of gendered violence in Australia. It is a pertinent 4 min read. Brisbane car fire killings of Hannah Clarke and her three children leave Australia reeling amid calls for action on family violence
Be the voice and join the conversation among other female survivors.
If you are in a relationship and concerned about symptoms of anxiety, depression, panic ... with a gut feel things aren't right ... trust your gut! You are not alone and deserve to live in peace and freedom. If you are a man and find your relationships are going south because of your use of violence, coercion or control - help is available. If you find you're not motivated for behaviour change ... your kids deserve it.
Love & light
Whole Warrior Solutions, Virtual & face to face counselling
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 https://kidshelpline.com.au/
National Domestic Violence Line 1800 RESPECT, 1800 737 732 for women & support people, live chat online www.1800respect.org.au/
Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service for women
National Australian Men's Referral Service 1300 766 491
live chat online https://www.ntv.org.au/get-help/live-chat
Suicide callback service 1300 659 467, 24/7
Headspace on 1800 650 890 for teens & youth
No to Violence & Men's Behaviour Change Network for workers, students & advocates for change
#endmensviolence #humanrights #narcissism #consequencesforcrimes #recovery #saynotoviolence #notoviolence #genderedviolence #genderdiscourse #orangetheworld #domesticviolenceawareness #endvictimblaming
Tania Gorry is a Social Scientist, Counsellor and Social Welfare Worker in private practice on the Central Coast of NSW specialising in spiritual abuse. Tania has worked for 20 years in domestic violence as a women and children's advocate, coordinator of refuges, child protection advocate, Men's Behaviour Change Program Caseworker, Joint Investigation Response Team senior caseworker, Domestic Abuse Response Team senior caseworker, and researched Aboriginal Out of Home Care and made recommendations for FACS NSW to reduce the over representation of First Nation People in foster care. Tania is a tireless advocate lobbying for change in a broken system for the recovery, empowerment and protection of women and children from the modern slavery of domestic and family violence.
There's something about water! Stillness, warmth, flow, rush, calm, power, and strength come to mind when I think about water. Women posses similar attributes. In working with women the last 20 years I have had the privilege of coming alongside. Building community where there is isolation. Empowering strength when there is weakness. Celebrating new life and crying for children lost. Seeking justice when the scales were upturned. Gathering fragments of what was left and preparing for new consciousness. Trusting in the invisible...inspiring faith.
Women are warriors! Girls, lovers, mothers, grandmothers and leaders. Bring your consciousness towards empowering women, be there for the women in your life. There's something profound throughout the ages about women supporting women! Women and the womb is a powerful notion of the divine. Beloved, do not imitate what is harmful. Instead cherish, love, respect and value the divine in your life!
It's for this reason I volunteer to build safe community for women. Join one of the fastest growing groups on Facebook for domestic and family violence awareness, recovery, support and prevention at Warrior Women Australia!
International Women's Day is on 8 March 2020! How will you show your love and support for women? One way to start is by liking this blog and commenting in support of women. For me, I am giving two women a special package. Buy four counselling sessions and receive the first free. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to book*!
Love & light
* offer expires on International Women's Day 8/3/2020 at 8 pm
The rain revived my herb garden and the mint has crept it's way throughout. As I harvested the overgrown mint, I was reminded of an older man I used to be related to by marriage. He was born in Casablanca, Morocco and taught me the art of making Moroccan sweet peppermint tea. Now there's a lot of tradition that goes with sharing mint tea in Moroccan culture. It's polite to drink at least three cups to show appreciation for their hospitality. You see, it's because getting the flavour and sweetness just right takes a lot of time and practice.
The aroma of the mint tea brewing on the stove top filled my house with the soothing oils. After letting it steep and cool a while ... I sat in my chair watching the birds bathing in the birdbath after the rains. Inhaling the aroma, I sipped slowly and could feel it calming my body and mind after a busy week. Yet thoughts of disclosures from times gone past filled my head. Thoughts of tragic child sexual abuse victims. The righteous indignation burned in my heart. I stood up, and please be my witness, today I called for justice to hammer down in the heavenlies!
Having that petition done, I sat down to slowly finish sipping my peppermint tea. Each mouthful cleansing my broken heart, providing a sense of calm ... stillness. To complete my relaxation I put on a meditation by my friends at eKa. I was again at peace with a strengthened resolve. You see, my life's work is for the protection of the vulnerable ... women, children, poor, disabled and elderly.
Have you experienced an injustice towards a vulnerable child or person? Call for judgement and see what happens! Social work research has proven that enacting religious (or spiritual because I detest religiosity) rituals at a time of crisis has great healing power after a critical incident. Let me know if you try it and I'd love to know how it goes. Like and comment below if this article resonated with you!
Love and light
Tania Gorry is a credentialed counsellor with a passion for supporting single parents, women affected by domestic & family violence and resulting child behavioural issues. Tania also helps people work through grief, loss, trauma, often complicated by disabilities (like anxiety, depression and PTSD). Counselling that ultimately empowers people improve the way they feel, build meaningful connections with others, and take control of their lives.
The big issue for Support Coordinators in the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) is that there's just not enough hours allocated for support coordination in participant's plans!
Coordinators of Support or COS end up doing a lot of work for free. That mean's unbillable hours. Not a very profitable business model when you have vulnerable client's with complex comorbidities.
Instead of working for free, what if your client engaged in transformative counselling? Where freedom was found, and barriers were broken? Your client builds capacity for daily living, engages with providers and your billable hours increase. Isn't that a win win for all concerned!
NDIS Support Coordinators can refer participants for counselling here
Tania Gorry is a counsellor in private practice at Whole Warrior Solutions based on the Central Coast of NSW. Tania has a passion for supporting people living with disabilities, trauma, stress, anxiety, depression and grief and loss.