Women’s wellbeing
The impact of domestic and family violence on women and children: trauma, diagnosis and recovery
Why behaviour and functioning need to be understood in context—and how assessment, treatment and recovery supports can play different roles.
DFV affects an environment, not only an isolated incident
Domestic and family violence (DFV) can include physical or sexual violence, coercive control, intimidation, humiliation, isolation, financial abuse, monitoring, threats and the use of children or institutions to maintain control. Its effects can continue after separation through parenting arrangements, technology, finances, legal processes, housing insecurity or repeated contact.
Women and children may be affected physically, emotionally, socially, financially and practically. Children are not simply passive witnesses. They may hear violence, see its effects, change their behaviour to manage risk, intervene, protect siblings, carry messages or have their relationship with a protective parent deliberately undermined. Responses vary, and no single behaviour proves that DFV has occurred.
What survival can look like in daily life
A woman living with coercive control may appear anxious, indecisive, forgetful, highly organised or inconsistent because she is monitoring risk and trying to prevent consequences. She may minimise danger, miss appointments, struggle to concentrate or seem reluctant to act even when others believe the solution is obvious. These responses can make sense within a situation where ordinary choices have repeatedly carried a cost.
Children may become watchful, withdrawn, irritable, restless, perfectionistic, aggressive, unusually compliant or focused on keeping adults calm. Sleep, learning, memory, school attendance, friendships, play and physical health may be affected. Some children show few visible signs. Others have difficulties that began before the violence or arise from several interacting factors.
When trauma resembles—or coexists with—other conditions
Trauma-related hyperarousal can look like constant movement, impulsive reactions or difficulty concentrating. Avoidance or dissociation can look like inattention, refusal or disengagement. Fear-based resistance may be understood only as oppositional behaviour. These similarities can raise questions about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), anxiety, depression, learning difficulties or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Similarity is not sameness. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition; DFV does not provide a simple alternative explanation that cancels an ADHD diagnosis. Trauma and ADHD can coexist, and either can be missed when clinicians assume the other explains everything. ODD describes a sustained pattern of angry or irritable mood, argumentative or defiant behaviour or vindictiveness, but an assessment still needs to consider developmental stage, relationships, demands, disability, culture, safety and what happens in different environments.
Why PTSD may be missed—or over-assumed
Not every diagnostic pathway asks detailed questions about violence, coercive control or the child’s caregiving environment. A person may not feel safe to disclose, may not recognise non-physical behaviour as abuse, or may attend with a controlling family member. Services may focus on the most visible problem—school behaviour, emotional outbursts, sleep, substance use or parenting stress—without connecting it to danger and cumulative harm.
The reverse risk also matters. Once trauma is known, practitioners can attribute every difficulty to it and overlook neurodevelopmental conditions, medical problems, learning needs or another mental health condition. Good assessment is not a contest between trauma and diagnosis. It develops and tests several possible explanations, considers co-occurrence and remains open to new information.
Assessment should ask about context and social determinants
A comprehensive assessment looks beyond a symptom list. It may explore when difficulties began; whether they occur across home, school, work and community settings; trauma reminders; sleep; physical health; medication; substance use; learning; communication; sensory needs; development; disability; family relationships and current safety. For children, information from more than one safe and appropriate source can help identify patterns without allowing a controlling person to dominate the account.
Social determinants of health also shape what is possible. Housing, income, transport, food security, discrimination, culture, community connection, legal stress, access to healthcare and exposure to ongoing violence can affect wellbeing and functioning. These conditions are not background noise. At the same time, acknowledging them should not deny a person access to assessment or treatment for a genuine health or neurodevelopmental condition.
Labels can help—and they can carry stigma
A diagnosis can give language to an experience, guide evidence-based treatment, support reasonable adjustments and help a person understand that their difficulties are not a moral failure. It can also become harmful when it is used as shorthand for the whole person or when behaviour is interpreted as manipulative, difficult, naughty or non-compliant without curiosity about what function it serves.
For women affected by DFV, credibility can be undermined when distress is treated as proof that they are unreliable. For children, a behavioural label can obscure fear, disrupted attachment, unmet learning needs or the effects of living with unpredictability. Trauma-informed practice does not reject diagnosis; it uses language carefully, explains uncertainty and keeps dignity, strengths and environment visible.
Functional capacity is about everyday impact
Diagnosis and functional capacity answer different questions. Functional capacity considers how a person manages activities and participation in daily life—for example communication, social interaction, learning, self-care, self-management, mobility, routines, relationships and community access. Capacity can vary with safety, symptoms, fatigue, environment, support and the demands of a particular day.
A functional capacity assessment may help document strengths, barriers, support needs and the effect of an impairment across settings. It does not establish that DFV itself creates NDIS eligibility, it is not automatically required in every situation, and it cannot guarantee access or funding. Evidence should be accurate, proportionate and connected to the person’s disability-related functional impact rather than written to fit a desired funding outcome.
Treatment and recovery support have different jobs
Immediate safety, child protection where required, medical care and specialist DFV support come first when danger is present. Diagnosis and treatment belong with appropriately qualified health professionals. Depending on the person, treatment may involve a GP, paediatrician, psychiatrist, psychologist or another suitably qualified practitioner. Children need developmentally appropriate assessment and interventions that involve safe caregivers without blaming the protective parent.
Recovery continues beyond an initial treatment episode. Counselling may provide space to understand experiences, strengthen boundaries and rebuild identity. Practical supports can help with routines, community connection, appointments, study, work or daily living. Peer and recovery-oriented relationships may help a person apply what they are learning in ordinary life. These roles should complement—not imitate or replace—clinical treatment.
Where NDIS and recovery-oriented supports may fit
For an eligible person with disability-related functional impairment, NDIS supports may assist with goals, daily functioning and community participation when the relevant requirements are met. Funding is individual and never guaranteed by a diagnosis, an assessment or this article. The NDIS is not intended to replace clinical mental health treatment, healthcare, education, housing, justice or child-protection responsibilities.
Where funded, suitable and within service scope, Psychosocial Recovery Coaching may support an adult participant to understand their plan, connect with services, strengthen routines, build confidence and work towards recovery goals. Capacity-building support or training may help a participant practise disability-related skills and increase participation. Counselling may support emotional recovery through a separate appropriate arrangement, but Whole Warrior Solutions does not represent counselling as NDIS-funded simply because trauma or disability is present.
Rebuilding safety, agency and ordinary capacity
Recovery for women can involve secure housing, financial stability, healthcare, sleep, trusted relationships, parenting support, grief, legal advocacy, returning to work or study and making ordinary choices without anticipating punishment. Progress is rarely linear. What looks like a small step—answering a message, attending an appointment or choosing who enters the home—may represent significant regained agency.
Children benefit from actual safety, predictable care, opportunities to play and learn, adults who believe them, and support that does not define them by behaviour. Schools, health professionals and services can help by sharing relevant information with consent and lawful authority, reducing unnecessary retelling and responding to both developmental needs and the environment around the child.
Connecting with the right support
Whole Warrior Solutions may support adult women and suitable participants with trauma-informed counselling, Psychosocial Recovery Coaching or capacity-building work within professional scope and agreed arrangements. The practice does not provide emergency response, child diagnostic assessment or specialist psychiatric treatment. A child needing assessment or treatment should be connected with an appropriately qualified child and family professional.
If you would like to discuss recovery support for yourself or an adult participant, use the Whole Warrior Solutions web enquiry pathway. If there is immediate danger, call 000. 1800RESPECT provides 24-hour information, counselling and support relating to domestic, family and sexual violence in Australia.
Sources
- Australian Institute of Health and Welfare — Children and young people and FDSV (updated 2026) ↗
- Australian Institute of Family Studies — Children’s exposure to domestic and family violence ↗
- Australian ADHD Clinical Practice Guideline — Diagnosis ↗
- Phoenix Australia — Australian Guidelines for PTSD and CPTSD ↗
- 1800RESPECT — Domestic and family violence support ↗
- NDIS — What is a recovery coach? ↗