Recovery, empowerment & protection!

“The thing that was most helpful in my healing journey was ...” This was the question I asked a group of women this week. You see, they are the courageous survivors of modern slavery. Their answers are profound ...

'Being able to “talk” about it all, once I escaped. My family heard it all over and over ... it had all been suppressed for 10 years ... threats that if I told anyone, I would be dead ... I would never see my kids again ... you will cop it ... etc etc!'

'I did a course on healing from co-dependency which was suggested by my counsellor.  Did some deep soul diving to dig out the painful past. I had a good friend who had been through similar and she nursed me through the very black days. My faith didn’t help at that time because I felt like God had abandoned me too and after all my abuser, works for ‘the church’ I was very angry at God for being so cruel and I didn’t trust Jesus because He was supposed to ‘have my back’. What sort of friend let’s this stuff happen to you. Narcissistic abusers are very good at looking like innocent lambs. The covert, altruistic ones are the best at it. I couldn’t talk to family much because of [the above] points. To them he was the best thing since sliced bread... probably still is.' 

'Going to anonymous meetings was incredibly helpful in my healing journey too. As well as finally learning and understanding how to see narcissists and sociopaths and see their techniques and therefore avoid.'

'Forgiveness.'

'Forgiveness. Yes very powerful. I forgave more for my own healing, but just because you forgive it doesn't mean you have to take them back or accept their toxic behaviour.'

'Exactly ... [forgive] but never ever go back!!!'

'EMDR therapy helped me heal from the PSTD'.

'Spending two months at The Bridge To Recovery in the US to heal trauma and codependency, my adult self could start to shine as I healed triggers and found I could say “no”. A simple word I couldn’t say to other people out loud. I didn’t even know I couldn’t say the word “no” especially to angry people. And I was 37!'

'The thing that was most helpful in my healing was my Faith but also finding a counsellor that specialised in abuse. I also did a living beyond abuse course and boundary course. I was also able to change states so it was similar to my own witness protection program. I was also very blessed in that I had so much love and support from my new church. You have to be careful who you trust but I was so blessed I had strangers help me when I had nothing.'

The messy purple art [above] represents the chaos of domestic violence to me. And the bird on the wire under the moon represents the peace of freedom after leaving, yet social isolation - the devastating impact of the psychological abuse.

​With the gruesome murder/suicide  of Hannah Clarke and her three children this week by her alleged high profile NRL player husband ... it's time to reflect on the Australian epidemic of domestic and family violence. Living at risk of homicide must end! The article below, on #domesticviolence, is a well researched snapshot of the epidemic of gendered violence in Australia. It is a pertinent 4 min read. Brisbane car fire killings of Hannah Clarke and her three children leave Australia reeling amid calls for action on family violence  ​

Be the voice and join the conversation among other female survivors.

If you are in a relationship and concerned about symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, depression, panic ... with a gut feel things aren't right ... trust your gut! You are not alone and deserve to live in peace and freedom. If you are a man and find your relationships are going south because of your use of violence, coercion or control - help is available. If you find you're not motivated for behaviour change ... your kids deserve it.

Love & light
Tania

Support:

Whole Warrior Solutions, Virtual & face to face counselling 
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 https://kidshelpline.com.au/
National Domestic Violence Line 1800 RESPECT, 1800 737 732 for women & support people, live chat online www.1800respect.org.au/
Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service for women
https://www.dvrcv.org.au/support-services/national-services 
National Australian Men's Referral Service  1300 766 491
live chat online https://www.ntv.org.au/get-help/live-chat
Suicide callback service 1300 659 467, 24/7
Headspace on 1800 650 890 for teens & youth

Read more:/

No to Violence & Men's Behaviour Change Network for workers, students & advocates for change

#endmensviolence #humanrights #narcissism #consequencesforcrimes #recovery #saynotoviolence #notoviolence #genderedviolence #genderdiscourse #orangetheworld #domesticviolenceawareness #endvictimblaming 

Author

Tania Gorry is a Social Scientist, Counsellor and Social Welfare Worker in private practice on the Central Coast of NSW specialising in spiritual abuse. Tania has worked for 20 years in domestic violence as a women and children's advocate, coordinator of refuges, child protection advocate, Men's Behaviour Change Program Caseworker, Joint Investigation Response Team senior caseworker, Domestic Abuse Response Team senior caseworker, and researched Aboriginal Out of Home Care and made recommendations for FACS NSW to reduce the over representation of First Nation People in foster care. Tania is a tireless advocate lobbying for change in a broken system for the recovery, empowerment and protection of  women and children from the modern slavery of domestic and family violence.